Online
Dating:
You Only Need One (Good Response)
A client of mine said, "About 5 years ago I had
a profile up on a dating site, and I would get lots
of responses. Over the last couple of years, I get very
few. I don't really look much different than I did 5
years ago...are there just more guys looking for younger
women? Or because I have more maturity now, this is
cutting out some of the population?? ...I feel SO vulnerable
in putting myself out there to be judged."
Here's the scoop. You don't have to worry about getting
a lot of dates or responses to your online dating profile.
It can be a nice ego boost, but it can also be a big
waste of time. In fact, you might prefer thoughtfully
considering a few quality responses rather than wading
through a large quantity of "eh" responses.
But more importantly, you don't NEED a lot of responses.
You only need ONE, from the right person. (That would
make short work of your search, huh?) Think of your
last job search - if you had 5 different job offers
to choose from, wouldn't choosing just one be incredibly
stressful? You'll likely have many jobs in your lifetime,
but you only need ONE ideal candidate to fill the position
of soul mate in your life -- one that will last a lifetime.
Don't allow yourself to over-focus on your age, your
weight, your income or any of those things that we use
to convince ourselves we can never be loved. When you
find the person that is YOURS, there's nothing you can
do to dissuade him or her from wanting to be with you.
The things you consider totally unacceptable about yourself
often are the things he or she will love about you -
or, at the very least, not even notice.
I know that's easier said than done. When you find
yourself getting caught up in those thoughts, remind
yourself, "The person who is right for me will
not give a hoot about my [age] [weight] [income] [outie]
[club foot] -- in fact, they'll love it. THAT'S the
person I'm going to find - the one who makes me feel
wonderful to be me."
Contact
Tanna Boran, Los Angeles
Divine Relationship Coaching (www.divinerelationshipcoaching.com)
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